101 Ways to Piss off a Foreigner
by PuddinOfSantorini
Summary: Ever wonder how you go about pissing off a foreigner? Well, America is here to help! From an old account of mine, Authoress 2. *warning* slight racism. Don't like don't read.


101 ways to piss-off a foreigner

***DISCLAIMER* Unfortunately I do NOT own Hetalia.**

**Hey, everyone! This is PuddinOfSantorini, otherwise known as Authoress 2. I had to split up from Authoress 1, but I now have my own account. The first few things I post will be re-writes from my old account, so old fans, please stick with me! This is also my first time publishing on my own, so if there is stuff majorly wrong with this I apologize in advance. This was the first this I wrote, so if it sucks, fire only fuels my flame! Criticize to your hearts content! I was debating whether or not I should post this because it has almost nothing to do with Hetalia, but sonic-screw it, I am anyway. I'm gonna stop rambling now, so read, review, and Favorite everyone! **

***WARNING* slight racism. Don't like don't read!**

1# Eat French food in front of a British man.

2# Enjoy British cuisine (?) in a Japanese sushi restaurant

3# Start a dog rescue in Greece.

4# Refuse to eat tomatoes in an Italian restaurant

5# Steal American shot guns and sell them to the Japanese.

6# Ask a French cook for salt.

7# Eat slowly in a German café.

8# When in Germany, mock the Holy Roman Empire.

9# Call the French scardie-cats.

10# Say something bad about communism in front of a Russian.

11# Make the Hero in every movie Mexican

12# Boycott maple syrup in Canada.

13# Watch anime in China.

14# Steal from a Swiss farmer.

15# Say, "Holy Whopper Big-Mac!" in a McDonalds in England.

16# Fail a German PE class.

17# Point out that the Tokyo tower is bigger than Big Ben in England.

18# Rob a Swiss bank.

19# Hire Italians over Germans.

20# Smoke American cigars in Cuba.

21# Get kicked out of an American McDonalds.

22# Hire Germans to work in an Italian restaurant.

23# Celebrate Christmas in Turkey.

24# Wear Hawaiian shirts in Cuba.

25# Dis glitter in Poland.

26# Call Hungarians violent.

27# Refuse to kiss Frenchmen.

28# Deny the existence of Liechtenstein in Switzerland.

29# Sell Puffins on the Black market in Iceland.

30# Point out an Americans Obesity.

31# Refuse to watch "The Terminator" in Austria.

32# Shoot a koala in Australia.

33# Send Vodka to Lithuania.

34# Ask a British man to choose between Doctor Who or Harry Potter. (I own neither)

35# Introduce a German to a Jew.

36# Refuse to cook in Hungary.

37# Refuse to be a Russians comrade.

38# Wave an American Flag in Canada.

39# Swear off alcohol in an Irish bar.

40# Drop your wurst on the floor in a German restaurant.

41# Protest same-sex marriage in Canada.

42# Play Nintendo game systems in China.

43# Slap "Made I America" stickers on Nike shoes.

44# Refuse to drink alcohol in Latvia.

45# Say "I'm a doughnut" in rapid German wherever you go.

46# Do the impossible and beat a Russian in a drinking contest.

47# Steal potatoes from Germans.

48# Eat scones in France.

49# Steal Polish ponies.

50# Start a foster home in China.

51# Refuse to drink tea in China.

52# Buy stealth supplies in Canada.

53# Deny the existence of Prussia and Kaliningrad in Germany.

54# Steal a Russians lead pipe.

55# Rip up paper swans in China.

56# Vacation to Spain, not France.

57# Grow a crazy moo-stache in Italy.

58# Steal fire-arms from Germany.

59# Protest violence to some Russians.

60# Protest winter in Siberia.

61# Refuse to eat potatoes in Germany.

62# Hire a Swiss Lawyer to help in a Dept case.

63# Hire a Swiss tax-collector.

64# Attempt a "Made you look!" joke on a German soldier.

65# Fool an Italian into thinking you invented Face-book.

66# Pass out razors in a French strip club.

67# Request bacon in an Indian restaurant.

68# Make fun of a Japanese mans accent in Japan.

69# Watch an episode of "19 Kids and counting" in China.

70# Tell the "How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb" joke to some Italians.

71# Cross dress n France, then ask if you look good in a French accent.

72# Play "Ghost in the graveyard" In Russia.

73# Tell fat jokes in China.

74# Hire a Japanese tutor to help in your English class.

75# Tell "Yo' Mama" jokes to a bunch of orphans in Laos.

76# Tell the British some Revolutionary War fun-facts.

77# Learn Chinese medical skills, then try to pass them off as your own.

78# Gorge on Big-Macs in England.

79# When teaching the Japanese the Alphabet, leave out "L"

80# Feed wurst to a dog in Germany.

81# Dis "Rocky" in America, then watch "Rocky IV" in Russia.

82# Make Germans watch "Human Centipede".

83# Dress as a Bobby in Germany.

84# Sing "It's rainin' men" in France.

85# Sing Christmas carols during Epiphany in Russia.

86# Dis the Mona Lisa in Italy.

87# Play jazz music in Austria.

88# Sing in a German "99 red balloons" in a German accent.

89# Find a large, empty box and give it to an American for Christmas.

90# Deny the existence of nuclear bombs in Austria.

91# Show some Austrians Key board cat.

92# Steal some Baltic liquor, then mock the Soviet.

93# If you get lost in Poland, leave a trail of glitter.

94# Call a British man with a beard "Jack Sparrow".

95# Hire an Italian gymnast then sue him.

96# Point out that the British mock Harry potter more than the Americans.

97# Steal an Italians pasta.

98# Fire a Swiss man who works at a bank.

99# Tell a German you don't speak German in German.

100# Make fun of an Indian girls unibrow.

101# Hump some sheep in Scotland.

America stopped reading when Japan started pulling on his sleeve. The two were in a book store, and Japan had made the mistake of letting America wander around in it. America had found "101 ways to piss off a foreigner" and had been reading it until Japan got his attention.

"Yeah, Dude?" America asked, closing the book.

"It is time to go, America-san, and I don't think that is the best choice of literature to be reading during a world meeting business-trip."

**Hey! So, how'd you like it? Yeah, I know it sucks. But hey, bear with me. It is with great pleasure that I declare my first fanfiction finished! Oh, and shout out to and Honey-bear 2.0! Remember to follow and favorite!**


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